THE dream

My little bean has been in my belly for 26 full weeks now and I can't wait to get a real glimpse at her. It is frustrating, guilt loaded...but I did not have a dream about her. I had the funny, scary dreams in the beginning, but never a dream where I could see her, feel her, touch her. With Catalina these dreams came early, sometimes she was a boy, sometimes she was beautiful, sometimes not that much :). But I dreamt about her face, about holding her, about who she is. Of course, I can't remember any of those dreams and for sure some were very far from the truth (she is definitely not a boy and she is gorgeous!). But they kept me company and made the waiting a little easier.

Last night I started having a very complicated and upsetting dream. Catalina was in it, she was part of our lives, but the little bean was not there. I woke up very early and very upset that I still did not see her. And then I fell asleep and I had THE dream. My little one was ready to be born and she came out looking amazingly beautiful. More like a 6 month old baby, with very strong personality. She did not want to be held, she wanted to just look around. Catalina was there with us, loving her sister. My baby had very white and chubby arms and I was thinking she looks exactly like her father (ha ha). Her face was chubby and round as well and her eyes were magnificent: a dark brown, very well defined, nothing like the usual baby eyes greyish/brownish/blueish. I still have her face stamped in my memory and it is an amazing feeling, getting to know what at least my subconscious thinks of her.

Of course, the big question of the dream was about her name. In my dream, in the car Marius said her name should be Medea, or some sort of derivative. I did not like it in the dream and I don't really like it in real life. So my little bean is still waiting for a final name. But I held her and cuddled her in my dream, I got to feel what it is to be a mother of two.

I love my life so much at this moment. I hope and pray that nothing changes dramatically, that we stay this small, happy family who enjoys day to day activities, nice vacations, sunshine and rain.